YouTube link, in case you fancy that more than Blip.

Clocking in at 28 minutes and 37 seconds, only the combined parts of the MGS4 review make for a bigger JRT episode; and that was more of a Let’s Play really, rather than a straight-forward review. Of course, there was a lot of ground to cover with this one as well, as there have been 2 more games in-between since my venerable Assassin’s Creed II review back in 2009. I rewatched that video and, even though the sound is HORRIBLE, I was pleasantly surprised with the writing. I always hate my older stuff, by the time you’re reading this I’ll probably already be hating it too so, I guess, I used to be funny and informative sometimes.

I still am, but I used to be too.

Anyways, I did try a few new things with this one and while I do have my initial thoughts as to what worked and what didn’t, I’d love to hear your opinion on the subject! I am confident, however, that this is, by far, the best JRT from a technical standpoint… until the next one, of course. It seems you’re always learning when you’re making videos, so even though the sound and image quality are the best they’ve ever been, I’m sure I’ll be able to do one better by the time the next video rolls around. In 2015.

But, in true JRT fashion, as overlong as the episode might seem, there’s a ton of stuff I would have liked to talk about, but had to cut to keep you from missing Christmas on account of still watching that guy babbling on about the fast travel tunnels.

The thing I probably wanted to cut the least, are the similarities between Assassin’s Creed and Metal Gear Solid. There’s always been some connection between the two franchises, and it’s even easier to make it now that Assassin’s Creed 3 features lush hunting grounds, much like the jungle in Snake Eater, and an unprecedented amount of cutscenes, much like every MGS ever.

Now, why haven’t I left a single direct mention to the cutscenes in Assassin’s Creed III, when they seemed to bother me so much in Metal Gear Solid 4? Well, if you could actually make out what I’m saying in that video, you’d probably guess that it’s not that I have some sort of grudge against cutscenes, I’m not one of those people that the moment they see one starting up, they immediately rush skip them.

I only take offence when you’re abusing them, when you’re relying on them too much to do too little, and not leaving me a chance to actually play your game while you’re at it. I don’t have a problem watching long films, but when I sit down to play a game, I demand at least some gameplay.

In the Metal Gear Solid series, they kept adding things to the cutscenes, but not on the gameplay, resulting in a ridiculous cutscene to gameplay ratio that culminating in MGS4 where, at best, for every 5 minutes it allows you the honour of handling the controls yourself, you are forced to watch Hideo Kojima playing with himself for 25.

So, while Assassin’s Creed III does have a lot of cutscenes, it does have a lot of gameplay substance behind it as well. The ratio is skewed worse in the beginning, but it still never reaches MGS4 standards, and there is a sense that most of these cutscenes are essential. Kojima likes to hold on to meaningless shots and writes boring dialogue, and if you actually let him write and direct a normal feature film, it would be at least 10 hours long, and critics would ask for his blood.

Ubisoft have a much better grasp of how cinema works, and it really helps the cinematics flow. They are far from perfect, as can be seen in many scenes towards the end I’m unwilling to spoil, and sometimes they rely to much to their film theories; you gotta make some adjustments when directing a videogame.

For example, in the scene where Connor meets Achilles for the first time: Yes, in a film, it’d be important to show him never give up and keep on slowly trying harder and harder to win Achilles over until the old man finally gives him a chance; but those moments of inaction don’t work at all in a videogame, where you are Connor. What do you mean, “find shelter for the night”? I want to break in from the window right now, this is my destiny we’re talking about!

Anyway, I figure that’s enough babbling for now; thanks for sticking around, I sincerely hope you have a great holiday season, and I will catch you on 2013!

7th: Paper Mario: Sticker Star (3DS)

A lot of people are surprised whenever I mention the Paper Mario franchise as one of the legitimately great RPG series; I guess the silly exterior makes for some silly preconceptions, a “problem” that the Pokémon series have as well. Something the Pokémon series doesn’t have, is the best, and most modern, writing of any game under the Nintendo “umbrella”. The Paper Mario games are consistently, exceedingly funny, with their ridiculous scenarios, natural sarcastic dialogue & 4th wall breaking shenanigans, and great writing is always one of the cornerstones of great RPGs.

For a quick description, they’re generally light-hearted yet adventurous RPGs, featuring small parties, light platforming elements and some puzzles of variable cleverness that play with the 2D nature of our heroes. They often takes some chances with the combat system too, but I’m not particularly excited about the system they’re trying out in Paper Mario: Sticker Star: Each combat action you take costs one “sticker” that is lost forever and although, undoubtedly, there won’t be a shortage of stickers in a game titled “Sticker Star“, the incorrigible hoarder in me absolutely loathes “wasting” consumables of any kind in RPGs and this is bound to drive me crazy. Still I have hopes for this one, and it’s not every day we get a decent 3DS release, so I’ll definitely be picking it up. Who knows, maybe it’s so good, it cures OCD. Now that’d be a quote to stick on the game’s box!

Source for the bumper image was http://pakkun96.deviantart.com/, but that account was deactived, socontact me if you know where this pakkun guy keeps his stuff nowadays!

Also, as a treat for you reading all the way down here, I might as well reveal we’ll probably be releasing a new JRT episode this month. I am stressing the “probably” part one more time again, so you don’t get too worked up… If we don’t make it in time, it won’t be the end of the world.

Dun-dun-dun!

20th: Hitman: Absolution (Multiplatform)
23rd: Disney Epic Mickey 2: The Power of Two(Multiplatform)
23rd: Lego The Lord of the Rings: The Video Game (Multiplatform)
30th: Far Cry 3 (Multiplatform)

30th: Wii U (HARDWARE!!!)

30th: New Super Mario Bros. U (Wii U)
30th: Nintendo Land (Wii U)
30th: Scribblenauts Unlimited (Wii U)
30th: ZombiU (Wii U)

Dishonored did match my expectations and satiate my desire for precise assassination plans carried out meticulously and methodically, but I’m a hungry beast when it comes to that sort of thing, and I could certainly go with a sharper, more professional, avatar and more contemporary takedown methods. Another Hitman: Blood Money would be perfect really, but it seems IO Interactive has other plans in mind for the franchise… Now, I’m all for streamlining and updating for a more modern era, but this usually means “one button for everything and more action everywhere”, a patently bad move for any franchise originally based on stealth. Still, the Sniper Challenge was something different but done quite well, so I am going to pipe down and give them my money for Hitman: Absolution, in hopes they’ve managed to retain enough of what makes Hitman Hitman.

It seems it was just last week we were talking about the great “Lego: Insert Franchise Here” series of platformers from Traveller’s Tales, and here we are once again, waiting the release of Lego The Lord of the Rings: The Video Game. A case could be made against oversaturation, and you certainly can’t hope to play all of them by this point, but if you haven’t played any, I’m certain Lego The Lord of the Rings: The Video Game will prove a solid purchase. And it will probably still be well worth the ride if you haven’t played the last couple, and/or are a big fun of the Lord of the Rings.

Speaking of saturation, Far Cry 3 also just barely makes release in November, and it’s receiving the usual tremendous amount of hype ordinarily reserved for the most unsaturated of FPSs. Now, everyone went bananas over Far Cry 2 as well, praising it for the impressive world it built I guess, forgetting that the actual game inside that framework wasn’t anything special. Maybe it was all that procedural fire that managed to distract everyone.

Anyway, the guys at Ubisoft behind it do have neat ideas from both a story writing and a technical standpoints, and even a few cool concepts for the gameplay, but they often sometimes neglect the basic, mundane gameplay parts that are supposed to connect everything together. It has been 4 years since Far Cry 2 so it’s not unreasonable to believe they’ve learned that lesson, but I won’t believe the hype for Far Cry 3 until I play it for myself.

I have a bad feeling for Disney Epic Mickey 2: The Power of Two just from the awkward title, but the original was decent enough to warrant the benefit of the doubt. If it’s anything like the first Epic Mickey, it will feature a plethora of beloved characters from classic Disney cartoons, and offers some decent platforming gameplay, sometimes reminiscent of Super Mario Sunshine, with its paintbrush mechanics. The question is, will it take the series a step forward to something great, or will it play it safe and offer the absolute minimum? In either case, I’m fairly certain most fans would really take another Kingdom Hearts any day of the week…

It’s worth noting that Disney Epic Mickey 2: The Power of Two is the first title featured in the JRT show where “multiplatform” also includes the Wii U! Speaking of which…

***

The shroud of secrecy has been slowly dissipating from the Wii U and, hardware specifications-wise, it seems to be packing about the same punch as the X360 & the PS3, with more of the ever vital RAM and be easier to optimize for than the PS3. Of course, those two already had half a decade for developers to figure out how to best optimize for them, so, it seems that Nintendo will be on about the same footing as Microsoft & Sony… at least until they make their own forays to the next generation. Until then, this means that “multiplatform” offerings will finally be including a “full-fledged” version for a Nintendo console.

For that matter, and in theory, the Wii U version of any multiplatform release has all the potential to be the one superior version to rule them all, thanks to the Wii U touchpad controller. I can’t wait to see what innovative uses Nintendo themselves will think up for the thing, but, unlike the Wii Remote, the Wii U‘s unique controller can easily add welcome features to any game, instead of the annoying, forced, and totally unwarranted “shake the controller to do something trivial” the least creative of developers liked to shove down our throats so much. To be sure, an always-on inventory screen or map isn’t a feature to write home about, but it certainly is a welcome addition to any game.

So, once again in theory, the Wii U should finally have rudimentary third-party support locked down for Nintendo, which is a big deal; more developers having an “in” to the Wii U, means more people are likely to experiment with it, and more experimentation means more interesting games for us!

I predict there will be an initial wave of uninformed disappointment when the general public realises their Nintendo doesn’t blow their 7 year Xbox out of the water, but people will come around when they eventually realise they can now play any game they like on other platforms just as well on the Wii U, while also providing some unique experiences only Nintendo. Well, unless the touchpad’s screen is total crap: They’ll be forcing us to use it whether we like it or not, and if it’s as comparatively bad as the original DS, we’re going to have problems. This is the iPad generation after all, and even though it certainly doesn’t have to be nearly as good as an iPad, there are some standards it’s gotta uphold.

Or if the Wii U turns out to be legendarily bad to port games to, which I find unlikely, but not impossible. Or if the increasingly important multiplayer modes are totally butchered in true Nintendo fashion, which is actually almost expected at this point. Anything could happen, but those are my initial preview thoughts, and those the things we’ll be most wanting to find out when we finally get our hands on the Wii U ourselves! So, enough of that, and let’s make some prediction for the what look to be the most interesting releases of the Wii U‘s launch!

***

You can’t talk about the Wii U and not highlight New Super Mario Bros. U but, truth be told, I’m not that excited about it. Much like I wasn’t excited about Super Mario Galaxy 2, now heralded as the best platformer of all time, but still feeling too same-y to the first Super Mario Galaxy to spoil my appetite. I have expect highly of Nintendo and, even though I have no problem with them recycling their franchises, I do have a big problem when they recycle their gameplay; sure, there’s dozens of Zelda games, but each one brings something significantly new to the gameplay… except Spirit Tracks. Nintendo have been willing to coast a bit in recent years, and it kinda looks like NSMB U will be them coasting once again, just making basic tweaks on their huge seller NSMB Wii. I hope I’m wrong and I guess there’s only one way to find out, so it seems Nintendo has got me again.

There is a Nintendo-developed launch title I am extremely excited about, and that title is Nintendo Land hands-down. Wii Sports did a fantastic job showcasing the controller, and Wii Sports Resort did an okay job showcasing the Motionplus; well, more than okay really, it’s just that the Motionplus just wasn’t nearly as an exciting piece of hardware as the Wiimote was back then.

The Wii U touchpad is an extremely exciting piece of hardware, so I have little doubt Nintendo Land will do a superb job showcasing some of its capabilities. From the looks of it, it’s going to do a lot with “asymmetrical” multiplayer experiences, with the person with the Pad playing a really different game than those with the Wii Remotes, I’m really looking forward to seeing how that turns out!

I’ve mentioned Scribblenauts in the past and Scribblenauts Unlimited will be looking its charming creativity to the big screen. You’re a little guy facing little problems, that you are asked to solve in the most ludicrous ways possible by summoning anything you can think of, or at least anything you can think of the developers have also thought of first. Still, this franchise is the living proof example that the dev teams think of everything and the fun you can have with Scribblenauts Unlimited should only be limited by your imagination.

Lastly, we have the obligatory zombie game, ZombiU; people get overexcited over zombies for no objective reason, so I was pretty skeptical over the hype surrounding this one, but it does seem like a half-way decent title. It could well be that Nintendo asked for a “mature” launch exclusive, and Ubisoft replied with “sure, and we’ll add Zombies to effortlessly make a killing”. Still, having permanent death is a bold step in this day and age, but certainly a step in the right direction for a survival horror game… and I’d like to find out if it turns out more parts fun than frustrating! And even if it is extremely frustrating, I’m certain that at the very least, it can’t be half as bad as Red Steel.

And yes, you’ve finally reached the end of this edition of The Plan; turn in next month, when we highlight all of December’s 128 exciting new releases!

2nd: Resident Evil 6 (X360, PS3)
5th: NBA 2K13 (Multiplatform)
12th: Dishonored (Multiplatform)
12th: Pokémon Black Version 2 & White Version 2 (DS)
12th: X-Com: Enemy Unknown (Multiplatform)
19th: Dance Central (X360)
23rd: Hotline Miami (PC)
30th: Assassin’s Creed III (Multiplatform)

Yes, we’ll be highlighting 8 games, the most we’ve had in a single month!

First we have Resident Evil 6. It seems Capcom has finally shred the final few shreds of “survival horror” Resident Evil 5 had and gone all-out action with this one, something I’m not too happy about but, at least, they are moving forward towards something. Still, I feel it’s a pity that one of the pioneers of the niche “survival horror” genre has been transformed into yet another mainstream over-the-shoulder action shooter. But, if you really think about it, maybe it’s not that at odds with the “shlock horror” vibe the series always have had… In any case, I can’t help but really want to try out Resident Evil 6.

Next up is an easy one: NBA 2K13. The latest NBA 2KXX games have been so good, EA have been afraid to release the usual “Live” games alongside them. That says something and that something is: “wow”. They’ve also consistently been some of the best sports titles overall each year, with pretty much their every aspect being remarkably well done. I doubt NBA 2K13 will be able to add as much to the series as the previous two, but I have no doubt it will be an excellent, and technically more accomplished, game. I can only dream they’ll someday add the Euroleague, especially now that my team are actually the reigning champions…

The first trailer for Dishonored came right out of left field for me, and I immediately shouted “SOLD”! Seriously, choose-your-own-path assassination missions with an emphasis on stealth set in a somewhat steampunk with magic? Sign me up! It looks like a more densely-packed Thief in a more creative world, and the only reservations one might have is that it’s perhaps too ambitious a project for a studio like Arkane, that has been around for a while but hasn’t undertaken anything of such scope. Well, I say phooey to your reservations & pessimism: yes, it probably won’t have the polish and QA of your standard big-budget AAA title, but I’m sure Dishonored has enough drive to carry itself forward.

To me, it’s a bit weird that the only Pokémon remakes that aren’t really remakes but continuations of the previous story, are the only ones dubbed “version 2″, but there you have it: Pokémon Black Version 2 & White Version 2, set two years after of the original Pokémon Black & White. What’s left to say about Pokémon really? It’s a kid-friendly RPG with a classic hero-on-a-quest arc, with an excellent combat system based on an expanded “rock/paper/scissors” theme and a surprisingly deep levelling system. It’s classic, it’s easy to get into but hard to put down, it’s fun and it’s serious business all at the same time. If you have never tried it, I can already tell you sight unseen you should definitely be picking up Black v2 or White v2… But I’d like to see if it’s worth it when you’ve already been through the circuit a couple of times.

You might remember, back in February, we were talking about how reviving long-dead franchises just for the brand recognition made its way from Hollywood to the gaming scene but, unlike Syndicate, X-Com: Enemy Unknown looks to be respecting the source material enough to warrant my eager anticipation for its release: It’s not yet another shooter that knows its couple of neat ideas aren’t enough to make it stand out, so it might as well slap a recognizable name on the packaging; it’s X-Com, a tactical turn-based game that gives you a team of expendable soldiers for you to grow attached to, only for them to die horribly at the hands of the very aliens they’re supposed to stop and this remake/reboot seems to be getting the gist of it right.

Dance Central also returns, the rhythm series I can’t seem to stop reviewing. Well, there probably won’t be a review for Dance Central 3, as I feel it should be too easy to sum up by now: “Fun as always, it makes you feel much more than a professional dancer than the, also quite fun and probably best for parties, Just Dance series. Four-way multiplayer is fun but doesn’t really work, everything that was already included in Dance Central 2 has been tweaked as much as possible, and it finally has a couple of procedural game modes like I’ve been wishing since the first one”. Now, like the other games on these list, I haven’t played this one yet, and I always go in with an open mind, but I feel relatively confident that will be the gist of the conclusion I’ll arrive at after actually playing it for a while.

Hotline Miami is a much harder one to call, however. It’s a high-concept videogame made by a small team of two people and, of course, when I say “high-concept”, I don’t mean it’s an allegoric look at mankind that will change your life, rather, a stylized effort to make an overtly violent videogame using the smallest amount of resources possible, in order to get across a vibe inspired by pop culture that made an impact with you in the past… like, apparently, the pretty excellent film from last year, Drive.

I’d love to make a game of my own one day, and even though it will probably have nothing remotely resembling any aspect of Hotline Miami, I can only hope it will bring together my vision for it and entertain people the way I intended half as well as Hotline Miami seems to manage it. I’m sure the final version will still have tremendous flaws, each graphical asset by itself will still look like something even I could put together in a few minutes, and I highly doubt it has enough tricks up its sleeve to remain entertaining gameplay-wise for 15 chapters… but I’ll definitely be checking it out and wishing the Dennaton guys the very best in any case.

Finally, we have Assassin’s Creed III! Ubisoft bite the bullet at long last and use the framing device of the Animus the way it was supposed to be used from the get-go, as series’ protagonist Desmond jumps to a new ancestor and a fresh new defining period of history: The American Revolutionary War. I’ve certainly talked about Assassin’s Creed in the past, the very first one, the second one in both video and text review form, and I’ve even used pretty much the same lines before talking about Revelations in the monthly preview for the month of its release. Incidentally, at seven games long, that used to be the busiest month for “The Plan”.

Anyways, I have a feeling we’ll be taking an even deeper look into the series in general and Assassin’s Creed III in particular soon…

7th: Mark of the Ninja (X360)
14th: FTL: Faster Than Light (PC)
20th: Torchlight 2 (PC)
21st: Borderlands 2 (Multiplatform)
28th: FIFA 13 (Multiplatform)

Mark of the Ninja is one of those titles that initially look like modest XBLA releases but could well become huge. From the developers of the unapologetically brutal beat-em-up side-scroller Shank, Klei are looking to take that style and mesh it with clever stealth mechanics. Well, I loved that style and I love stealth, so I have a feeling I might well love Mark of the Ninja as well.

Speaking of love, “space simulation” has always been a theme in games I really enjoyed, but has fallen out of favour from the mass market in the past decade. Judging by the recent boom of promising Kickstarter projects, there will soon be a resurgence in the “space combat” aspect of that genre, but FTL: Faster Than Light comes out this month and will be mostly taking care of the “simulation” part. You are a little ship in charge of delivering precious information across the galaxy, and everything that could go possibly wrong during your mission, does and you’re asked to put your crisis-management skills to the test and do your best to survive. If I had to make one of my far-reaching comparisons for it, I’d go with “Battlestar Galactica on a tiny scale meets Theme Hospital“.

From the team that actually made Diablo, the first Torchlight aimed to satiate those that have been waiting too long for Diablo III, and most people agreed it succeeded in being a nice little appetizer for the main course. Now that Diablo III has actually been released, Torchlight 2 will be looking to please those that were left disappointed in its wake. Once again, Torchlight 2 looks quite unassuming, cheap even, but it seems to hit all the points a fast-clicking loot-fest adventure such as this has to hit. Just from the beta, you get the feeling that if Runic Games had the kind of budget Diablo III had, they’d be able to deliver a vastly superior game.

But you don’t need a top-down view anymore to go on an ever-ending quest for marginally superior loot: Borderlands has soundly proven you can also left click to make mobs explode into delicious gear from a First Person View just, as well. Admittedly, I’m not one to sink hours upon hours on those games, but I do find them entertaining for a little while, and the guys at Gearbox always put much more effort in their writing than the genre warrants… Even if Borderlands 2 doesn’t manage to be as bigger and better as it naturally promises, I’m sure it will showcase their weird sense of humour quite well.

Lastly, we have FIFA 13. Having played the demos, it seems Pro Evolution Soccer will finally be putting up a fight this year, but it’s just too little, too late. Unlike Konami, EA isn’t resting on its laurels and is always taking risks to maintain its lead; sure they make missteps each year, but they aren’t afraid to try out new things in fear of breaking their golden formula, so at least FIFA’s flaws are not exactly the same, year after year. Well, except Manager Mode, which will probably remain marred in mediocrity forever more.

7th: Persona 4 Arena (X360, PS3)
17th: Sleeping Dogs (Multiplatform)
21st: Darksiders II (X360, PS3)
28th: Guild Wars 2 (PC)

I’ve gushed over Atlus‘ breakout RPG series before, and in this latest game set in the Persona 4 universe we get… a tournament fighter?! I’m not that big a fan of that genre anymore, but no-one can deny this release is extremely interesting, and I look forward to giving it a quick spin. And probably more than that too: Atlus has enlisted the services of Arc System Works to make this work, and they’ve released a plethora of enjoyable fighters for gamers of various skill levels. And you don’t get to make five billion BlazBlue and Guilty Gear games if you aren’t any good at it.

One of my guiltiest pleasures has always been the True Crime series. I know, it’s weird for someone that doesn’t really like Grand Theft Auto to enjoy what many consider to be its cheap knock-off, but the vastly narrower focus and over-the-top loose-canon-cop shenanigans gel with me just right. What does this have to do with Sleeping Dogs? Well, Sleeping Dogs is really the third True Crime in disguise, with the name being lost when it changed producers. The game itself looks to be cheesy undercover cop shenanigans in a Hong Kong GTA-style sandbox and, really, what more could you possibly ask for?

If there was an award for shamelessly copying other games you really like, Vigil Games would surely take home the prize, with the original Darksiders mostly being Zelda with God of War elements, but featuring ideas from a slew of other hit titles. The audacity of the thing was quite glorious really. The game itself was okay, its biggest problems being an overt seriousness and a distaste for pure “fun”, things you wouldn’t really expect from a developer with such a “carefree” attitude towards designing their gameplay outline. If they managed to get past that, Darksiders II could be very good indeed, but it could well be even worse, if their relative success got to their heads… We’ll find out soon enough, I guess!

One more thing we’ve established in these posts, is that I pretty much got burned out of the MMORPG genre early on, with the original Everquest. These days, it takes MMORPGs that try exceptionally hard to not be MMORPGs that make me bat an eyelash and Guild Wars 2 does just that with its emphasis on “your personal story” and a sufficiently reactive combat system that can’t just be put on autopilot. Also, it looks downright gorgeous, it’s “Art Style of the Year” so far, for me.

10th: The Last Story (Wii)

Thanks to its extended stay in localization hell, The Last Story may well be the last Nintendo Wii title to really grab my attention. It’s been a good run for the machine mockingly referred to as the Gamecube v1.5, but it’s clearly on its last legs. It always was behind the curve technologically, but it did handily manage ground-breaking sales thanks to its innovations; alas, everyone seems to have jumped ship preparing for the Wii U, so there are no neat concepts on the horizon.

But there is The Last Story, which was, of course, originally released on January 2011 in Japan, but took its sweet time getting translated into a language I can actually understand and making its way overseas. It’s a JRPG that’s a bit more loose on the “Japanese” part and a lot more action-ey, to appeal to a modern-day audience that doesn’t really appreciate extremely same-y and slow-paced turn-based combat. This was a welcome surprise to me, since The Last Story was developed, in part, by Mistwalker, a company made up of some of the talent behind the old Squaresoft team that kept making those Final Fantasy games, and they didn’t show much interest in breaking patterns with their last game, Lost Odyssey. Anyways, the Wii has been a surprisingly strong platform for JRPGs, and I fully expect The Last Story to be a thoroughly enjoyable last hurrah.

15th: Lollipop Chainsaw (X360, PS3)
22nd: Lego Batman 2: DC Super Heroes (Multiplatform)
29th: The Amazing Spider-Man (Multiplatform)

I don’t think there’s ever been a game more fitting to usher the summer season than Lollipop Chainsaw: it just looks the part, a game you take one glance of and instantly want to describe it with those meaningless words used to define “summer” perfumes, like “care-free bubblegum tan-line”. You got your ridiculously oversexualized blonde, and she’s just about to have the time of her life by mindlessly chopping up hordes of undead. I’d say it’s like Devil May Cry meets Dead Rising meets No More Heroes, meets Dead or Alive, but, honestly, it mostly sounds like your stereotypical summer afternoon to me. But, seriously, it looks like a game that constantly threatens to make you stupider, but mostly lets you have fun unapologetically and I’ll be checking it out to see whether my gut-feeling rings true.

I’ve sang the praises of the Lego: Insert Franchise Here games so many times it’s getting ridiculous, especially considering my general distaste for same-y-ness… but they’re simply one of the best platformer series around, as they are consistently, tremendously, funny, and even though they can be too easy and condescending, they have enough collectibles to keep you busy for quite a while. If you haven’t tried a Lego game, you should definitely pick this up, and, if you have, you should still keep a close eye on Lego Batman 2: DC Super Heroes, in case it turns out super great.

I’ve probably also mentioned that Spider-Man is my favourite superhero, and it doesn’t take much for a game featuring him to get me going. I manage to squeeze some enjoyment out of even weakest titles, but The Amazing Spider-Man promises to recapture the greatness of the objectively quite amazing Spider-Man 2. From what I’ve seen so far, I have little doubt it will fall well short of that task, but I’ll definitely be checking it out nevertheless.

18th: Max Payne 3 (Multiplatform)
25th: Dragon’s Dogma (X360, PS3)

I may not be fond of shooters, but I am fond of having fun, and the Max Payne series have provided me with tons of that precious commodity over the years. They’re short, gimmicky, and nobody’s really certain whether they’re lampooning the gritty/noir/hardboiled style of films, or it’s just a happy accident of terrible writing that makes their cheesy scripts come out gold, but the end result can’t be denied: they are tremendously fun. Will we be able to say the same of Max Payne 3, which has been in hibernation for almost ten years and was, in the end, developed by a totally different team?

It’s the kind of question that keeps you up at night, up at times when the only thing in the air are the ghosts of Christmas past and the stench of your dirty conscience. You numb the pain with pills, but the Pillsbury Doughboy hasn’t sinned in gluttony as much as you’ve sinned in fury.

Alright, enough of that nonsense, and moving on to something more uplifting: Dragon’s Dogma! It’s an action RPG that, besides a deliciously pompous name, also has the team behind Breath of Fire, which is all you really need to tell me to get me interested. It’s the same team at Capcom that also had their hands in the Resident Evil series and its spin-off franchise, Devil May Cry, so you know that when they try something new, it really is going to be new. They do misstep every now and again, but they also hit the occasional home run, so Dragon’s Dogma is definitely worth keeping an eye on.

11th: Legend of Grimrock (PC)
27th: Prototype 2 (Multiplatform)

Since the reminiscing often found in these posts often makes me feel quite old, I might as well mention that Legend of Grimrock is a grand callback to the first person tactical RPGs that were popular when I was just learning how to read. Back then, I don’t think I ever played any game in that genre I could stand for more than an hour, and since that was an age when I would happily put up with all sorts of absurd gameplay decisions, I am pretty skeptical whether I’ll actually find enjoyment here. Now that I think about it, games like these could well be why I tend to distrust First Person Whatevers today! Still, building that kind of niche game for just the PC market is a bold decision in this day and age, so developers Almost Human earn a chance with me just from that. Some of the gameplay elements I like are actually present here, let’s hope whatever it was that turned me off back then isn’t.

Prototype was one of the two sandbox games featuring avatars with deliciously overpowered abilities that sorta battled for our attention back in 2009; the other “combatant” one being inFamous, which I found just about edged that contest. InFamous 2 was even better, so let’s see if the extra half a year Prototype 2 had in development put it ahead of the curve this time around; I kinda doubt it, it likes to grit its teeth a bit too much for that, but I do expect an enjoyable game nevertheless!